What to do after you’ve lost your temper.

Plus, how to tell if you're actually serving your wife.

Author

SpurgeonBooks
December 12, 2025

THE GOD CENTERED HUSBAND

A Weekly Email to Help You Love God and Your Wife
By Doug Hanna

🧠 WISE WORDS

Our culture says that feelings of love are the basis for actions of love. And of course that can be true. But it is truer to say that actions of love can lead consistently to feelings of love.

Tim Keller

💥 WHAT IS A GOD CENTERED HUSBAND?

A God Centered Husband must be a servant who leads. A husband is not a demanding task-master. He does not insist on his own ways or demands his own preferences. He readily lays down his rights for the good of those under his care.

Are you a God Centered Husband? What preferences or expectations are you holding too tightly to?

🛠️ ONE QUICK TIP FOR MARRIAGE

What to do after you’ve lost your temper.

  • Seek God — You need to get off of the judge’s throne that you’ve placed yourself on and get on your knees. Beg for God to forgive you.

  • Seek Forgiveness — You need to own up and clearly confess your sin to your wife. Ask her to forgive you.

  • Seek Understanding — You lost it with your wife, because you were loving something more than your wife. Were you craving control, possessions, sex, or respect? How has Christ already given you what you were longing for?

  • Seek Change — Get a better grip by remembering what Christ has already given you. Memorize a verse that speaks to what you were craving and recite it the next time you’re tempted to fly off the handle.

📕 ONE VERSE + ONE SENTENCE

“Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24)

Hear AND act — which of these things do you most need to grow in?

📚 RESOURCE HIGHLIGHT

Your kids need the Bible

In a world full of distractions, kids need the Bible more than anything. God Centered Family will give you everything you need to teach it with confidence.

These interactive discussion guides are all about cultivating LIFELONG faith, not quick results. They focus on laying three foundations for a life of following Jesus:

  • Bible Habits — Cultivate a daily habit of Bible reading that will follow your kids for the rest of their lives

  • Bible Knowledge — Instill a thorough biblical literacy that will protect your kids from false teaching and sin.

  • Bible Skills — Train kids to engage with the Bible, ask good questions, and dive deeply into Scripture for the rest of their lives.

If you want to lead your kids to become lifelong followers of Jesus, subscribe to God Centered Family today.

💬 A CONVERSATION STARTER

Ask this question and listen to what your wife has to say:

  • Are there any passages in Scripture that are hard for you to believe?

🔥 PRAYER FIRESTARTER

Prayer life feeling cold? Light it up again with this prompt:

  • God, whatever it takes, help me to love you more than I love...

❤️ REMINDER: JESUS LOVES HIS BRIDE

Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship and his bride, the church. When we seek to grow as husbands, it can be easy to feel discouraged that we have failed to “love our wives as Christ loved the church” while forgetting that we are the bride whom Christ has loved.

“Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband..” (1 Corinthians 7:13–14)

Christ is committed to you as the great husband. This is why we are saved.