How to have a meaningful conversation with your wife about sex

PLUS Dietrich Bonhoeffer's wedding vows

Author

SpurgeonBooks
November 28, 2025

THE GOD CENTERED HUSBAND

A Weekly Email to Help You Love God and Your Wife
By Doug Hanna

🧠 WISE WORDS

As you gave the ring to one another and have now received it a second time from the hand of the pastor, so love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.

What Dietrich Bonhoeffer said while performing a wedding

đź’Ą WHAT IS A GOD CENTERED HUSBAND?

A God Centered Husband must be quick to confess. God’s glory, not our own, is our aim, so we never have to defend ourselves. We confess our sins with confidence in Jesus’ grace, not our ability to change.

Are you a God Centered Husband? When was the last time you openly confessed sin to your wife?

🛠️ ONE QUICK TIP FOR MARRIAGE

How to have a meaningful conversation with your wife about sex.

To develop as a self-forgetful lover, each spouse needs to grow in intimate knowledge of their partner in each of these areas. (To help you remember these topics, I’ve put them in an acronym, BED) —

  • Understand your spouse’s BODY — Understand what and where everything is.

  • Understand your spouse’s EXPERIENCE — Solicit feedback and find out what feels good.

  • Understand your spouse’s DESIRES — Hear their expectations and hopes for the future.

đź“• ONE VERSE + ONE SENTENCE

“Can any of you add one moment to his life span by worrying?” (Matthew 6:27)

Worry is silly — it can’t help you, but God can. Trust him instead.

đź“š RESOURCE HIGHLIGHT

Failing to plan = planning to fail

You won’t grow as a husband without some intentional effort. If you want to see real change in your marriage, grab a copy of The God Centered Husband One-Year Journal.

This journal is filled with 52 weekly templates, asking you questions to help you serve and lead.

It also has some bonus resources, like a promise log to help you keep your word with your wife and a two-page explainer, “What you need to know about your wife’s menstrual cycle (and why you should care).”

đź’¬ A CONVERSATION STARTER

Ask this question and listen to what your wife has to say:

  • What do you think is most important in a marriage?

🔥 PRAYER FIRESTARTER

Prayer life feeling cold? Light it up again with this prompt:

  • God, one year from now, may I...

❤️ REMINDER: JESUS LOVES HIS BRIDE

Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship and his bride, the church. When we seek to grow as husbands, it can be easy to feel discouraged that we have failed to “love our wives as Christ loved the church” while forgetting that we are the bride whom Christ has loved.

“Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:25)

Before the fall, Adam and Eve had no shame because they had nothing to be ashamed of. Today, we have plenty to be ashamed of; and yet Jesus is a shame-covering savior.